Orville and Alice Heilshorn

Hello, you have officially entered me gusta today. Haven't posted anything for a while because whenever I think of something funny to post, it's usally when I'm not at home and I'll forget. So, a few things you've missed, I've started the second half of my high school career, I have worked and quit a job at a golf course, summer has come and gone but the biggest thing is my grandparents, Orville "The Orv" and Alice "Punkie" Heilshorn, have moved into our house.

Orv and Punkie met about... one thing led to another, and they got married. One thing led to another and they had five kids, roughly about 24 grandchildren, and just about 7 great grandchildren. During all this time they lived on (insert their street address here) Schultz Street, Defiance, OH. Some odd a couple hundred years ago, Orv bought a great 2 level, 3 bedroom, 1000 to 1500 square foot home for 27 cents. Many events transpired here... children being birthed, plays, musical performances, probably about like 450,000 arugments, but as many arguments as there was, there was just as many sports games played. Even though the house was only about 1000 to 1500 square feet, when you were in it it felt like 500 square feet. In fact, rumor has it, one person just about passed out at their first family gathering... That person will remain nameless...... and I'm sure that's the way Amy Marie (maiden name Laukhuf) Heilshorn would want it.

Turns out Orv and Punkie were apart of a secret government organization called the P.E.F.E.B.S. (phresh, efficaiant, functional, economic, beings, super-cool.) Nobody knew about this until their cover was blow by some P.E.F.E.B.S.'s veterans. They were forced to move. They moved to Westerville, OH. In fact in the same house as our family. They now are undercover as just 2 normal old people doing old people things... listening to Rush Limbaugh, watching Fox News, being angry at Obama, giving their grandchildren stuff, ect. Living the life... or not? They, in fact, do live the life, but at what cost? I'll tell you, their lives are nothing compared to their P.E.F.E.B.S days.

All in all, they like it here. Orv asks every day "When are we going home?" as Alice simply replies "We are home, Westerville is our home." As I here that every day, I can only imagine what kind of P.E.F.E.B.S. secret code that is... heck, I wouldn't be surprised if they have some type of Headquarters under our house where they can still check on up to date secret missions. Orv and Punkie Heilshorn, 2 old people... 2 national heroes... 2 LEGENDS.

P.S.

About 75% of this wasn't true

Sincerely,

Gust

Sorry....not

Greetings all you who have enter gusta today. So, let's get right down to business. Your probably wondering why I haven't posted anything in a while. You're saying to yourself "Man, why is the Gust being so lazy? Has his comedic juices finally run out?" I'll answer that with another question....no!......? If you would refer to my other post I'm not gonna force it. I've got a job now people. I can't just be sitting around waiting for a comedic genius idea to come to me. Plus, what loser does that anyway? As Dwight Schrute once said "I am fast. To give you a reference point, I'm somewhere between a snake and a mongoose. And a panther." What the crap does that quote have to do with this blog? I have no idea, but it's funny, and that's what we are about here at gusta. (we being me)

So, in conclusion. Don't be hatin on gusta.

"For even though Gust does not blog often, when he does, the hilarity level is a 7 on a scale of 1 to 5."-Abaham Lincoln

Thanks for the backup Abe. See you thursday for poker with Elvis. Go ahead. Throw your empty sparkling grape juice bottles at the screen. (only if you have insurance on the computer. gusta can not be held liable for any broken screens. if you have questions please see my lawyer Bob Lob Law.) Remember, haters gonna keep hatin. Slushies are fantastic... go get one right now. Stay sweet.

Songs Listened To:

Your Beautiful-Phil Wickham

Closer To Love-Matt Kearney

No Air- Boyce Avenue (cover)

Awakening-Switchfoot

Remain-Starfield

Broken Angel-Boyce Avenue

Safe-Phil Wickham

Sincerely,

Your Gust

Jelly Beans

Hey everybody, thanks a million for entering today. Jelly beans, what the crap? There are waaaaaay to many kinds of them and frankly, I think they have taken it too far. Now, I have no clue who created jelly beans but, I'm sure they didn't intend for the flavoring to get this out of hand.

As of late, they have made Starburst beans, warhead beans, sweet tart beans, and not to mention all the ridiculous jelly belly flavors they have been making. Baby wipes? Really?!?!?!?! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE JKING ME!!! Anyway, it's just getting stupid. Jelly beans aren't even a good candy to begin with. Who's child asks "Mother and/or father? Can I get some jelly beans?" Nay, they ask for Sour patch kids, Skittles, Chewy Sprees...the real stuff!

I will admit that the Warhead beans were off the chizzle fo rizzle, but still. I know this wasn't a very long post, but I feel like I got my feelings out about jelly beans... and that is.....overated.

Thanks for reading stay sweet.

Songs Listened To:

Sounds of Melodies-Leeland

Mo Money, Mo problems-Notorious B.I.G.

Rainbow Veins-Owl City

Hey, Soul Sister-Train

Sincerely,

Your Gust

Slushies

Sup my peeps, welcome to gusta today. Hope everybody is doing well. I wanted to talk today about Speedway slushies and how they have impacted the lives of many.

When Christopher Columbus first rode over on the Mayflower to America do you know why he stayed? Speedway slushies! Now, this is a myth, people are debating this on the underground debate circuit in Chinatown but everybody knows it's true. If you have never had a speedway slushie go jump off a cliff. If you are under the age of 15 then you don't have to jump but, if you are over 15 definitely jump because if you have wasted that much time not drinking speedway slushies, what have you lived for? (this is from a worldly stand point, live for God, not slushies...........or both?)

(searched on google "cliff" the guy jumping off was just icing on the cake)

Speedway slushies are the best refreshment after.....well, anything. Long day at work, lawn work, playing sports, just got out of a messy divorce...drink a speedway slushie! The original flavors are Mountain Dew, Coke-A-Cola, and Fanta cherry. Now, there is always 4 flavors you can choose from, but the 4th flavor is always changing. We first started drinking these cups full of pure Me Gustfulness the 4th was Fanta Blue and it was awesome. About a year and a half ago they took out blue and out in orange cream :\. It was fine but for sure not as good as Fanta Blue. Not too long after they changed orange cream with Fanta Grape, better than Orange but still not as good as Fanta Blue.

As many of you know I'm on a sabbatical in Arizona right now, I get a call from my brah-in-law telling me it happened.....THEY CHANGED BACK TO BLUE! I was like, ok speedway, ok.....So, this is all to say, speedway finally did something right with the 4th. What is gonna be the first thing I do when I get back to Ohio? Go right past my family trying to hug me, get the keys, get my speedy card, and go to speedway. Sorry family. My top 3 right now is God, breathing, Slushies. In conclusion, live for God, drink slushies on the way. Go get a slushie now for your Gustfulness now. Stay sweet everybody.

Songs Listened To:

If My Heart Was A House-Owl City

O Priase Him-David Crowder

How He Loves-David Crowder

Sunny Days-Grits

Kiss Kiss-Chris Brown

Blame It On The Pop-DJ Earworm

Say (all I need)-OneRepublic

Don't Stop Til You Get Enough-Michael Jackson

Sincerely,

Your Gust

"Don't Force it Gust!"

Hello everybody. 4 followers baby! That's what I'm talkin bout. Well, it's been 9 days since my last blog post...I've probably sent most of you into a depression, I can pay for your anti-depressants if you want. (metaphorically of course)

The reason I haven't been writing new posts is because nothing has really been that funny to me lately that is blog worthy, you feel me? If I'm gonna keep writing these I don't want to force the funny on you. Sure, I could could write one each day, but it definitely would not be as funny as it could be. When I'm writing this only one quote comes to mind "Don't force it Gust!" I'm paraphrasing of course.

I hope everybody understands where I'm at in all of this, and if not....wow, wow. So, I don't know when I'm gonna write my next post, maybe tomorrow? Maybe next week? Maybe next year? Not likely for the last one, but you never know. Until next time peeps, stay sweet!

Song Listened To:

If My Heart Was a House-Owl City

Some Glee Stuff

Sincerely,

Your Gusta

Apolo, Oh no!

Hey ya'll. Hope everybody had a good weekend. As most of you know, the Olympics are on right now. Apolo Ohno broke the record for most winter Olympic game medals this weekend, but he won won it with a bronze medal instead of a gold medal. He has worked 4 years for these games and he knew he was gonna go for this record.

(thought this would be a funny picture)

So, the last race that he needed a medal to get the record. He started off in between to countries (3rd) He passes someone, but then on one of the last turns he gets bumped loses all of his speed and the Korean pair takes the lead. 4 years of training for Apolo and he loses the gold on a bump. Simply, that sucks....the un-gust if you will. You could see the disappointment on his face after the race in the interview, knowing that he had the race in the bag up until the bump.

In another sporting event this weekend, I was watching a college basketball game Vanderbelt (19) vs Kentucky (2). It came down to Vanderbelt's last chance to tie the game, perfect pass down the court to their big man, he puts up the shot and in my mind im thinking to myself "He made it! It's going to overtime!" Unfortunately, that was not the case and 2 Kentucky gets the W. The sad thing is he will remember that moment for the rest of his life, the moment where he could have sent the game into overtime for his team, possibly pull-off the upset, a moment any athlete dreams of his whole life. Granted, it was just to tie, but still.

2 sporting events, 2 chances, 2 atheletes that royally blew it, 2 un-gustful moments. So, what's the moral of this story? No clue, I thought it was cool to see though right? For Ohno he has to wait 4 years! Until he gets that chance again...nothing else to say about that, but its a long time. Next time you are in a situation like these 2 men were in don't choke, for my sake...even though I will laugh if you do. Until, next time. Stay sweet!

Songs Listened To:

Follow You-Leeland and Brandon heath

Safe in Your arms-Abandon

Blame it On The Pop-DJ Earworm

Facedrop-Sean Kingston

Don't Stop Believin-Glee cast version

Swimming in Miami-Owl city

Free Fallin-John Mayer

Hungry Like The Wolf-Journey

Fireflies-Karaoke mix

Sincerely,

Your Gust

No Air

Hola everybody. I hope I'm catching everybody in a chipper mood today and if not, get a life. This is my third post and people say third times a charm. Doubt it.

I'm sure most of you have heard the song "No Air" by Jordan Sparks and Chris Brown. Good song, good beat, ok lyrics but the thing that people don't see that this song may have brought up one of the most ground breaking questions ever. "How am I supposed to breath with no air?" Can you answer that question? I think not. They thought this song would be a smash hit in the music world and it was, but they didn't know it would be a hit in the science world also.

Scientist have spent hours trying to figure this question out. They usually just skirt the issue and talk about "global warming" or something that doesn't matter like that. The truth is they just don't know how to answer the question. So, I give props to Jordan Sparks and Chris Brown for stumping scientists. Some will give up on this question and some will go for the next 10 years to find out what I already know. So what is the answer? We don know how to breath with no air because you can't

I hope this post helped in your music listening experience. Every time you hear this song now you will think of me and this blog. I hope I ruined it for you...naaaaaa I don't. So, may you live knowing that you can't breath with no air. Until next time gang...

Songs Listened To:

Nothin On you-B.o.B

Free fallin-John Mayer

Hungry Like The Wolf-Duran Duran

The Stand-Kristian Stanfill

Sunny Days-Grits

Sincerely,

Your Gustness

Lost

Hey peeps...you have officially entered gusta today. Yesterday was Tuesday, does anybody else thing they should make a Onesday, a Threesday, and a Foursday? I should patent that. I think on my first blog post I got about 5 viewers! But like the alphabet, it's not about the numbers. Even though I only got 5 viewers, I'd rather touch the hearts of 5 people then not touch the hearts of 50,000,000...haha never mind, I would probably like it better the other way around.

If you have ever seen Lost you probably are confused...even if you haven't watched it you are confused. Lost is about an airplane that crashes on an island and the island is magical or mystical or...well, just...not...straight? Now, I have a business deal for you, if you right will invest in my new spin-off show "Found" you will not be sorry. It's gonna be bigger the something that is really big, bigger than (insert big thing here.) You can invest for a miniscule 10,000 dollars...the payout is gonna 100 fold!

I didn't mean for this blog to have a hidden agenda, but hey, if life gives you apples, make appleade, am I right? Think about it, you will not be sorry. I'll most likely right another blog tonight after more EXCITING things happen...or not? Thanks for reading, catch you on the other side of Gust

Songs Listened to:

Facedrop-Sean Kingston

Follow You-Leeland and Brandon Heath

Count Me In-Leeland

On The Wing-Owl City

Hello Seattle-Owl City

Meteor Shower-Owl City

Center-Charlie Hall

Sincerely,

Your Gustfulness

Me Gusta

Hello all, thank-you for entering gusta today. I figured I'd get my feet wet (metaphorically of course) in this whole blogging thing and tell you whats goin down. I intitled this post "Me Gusta" because I wanted the first title not to only inspire you, but to let you know what I'm about, which awesomeness. Before I get to the minor stuff I want to let you know that God is the main thing in my life, nothing comes before Him. I'm Andrew Shock, I'm 16, I live in Westerville, Ohio, I'm a sophmore, and I'm homeschooled. Those are the bascics about yours truly, but there is a lot more then that.....I'm a complex person.......not really.

Now, I want to make fun of blogspot.com for being idiots........they let me get a blog (snickers.) You're probably wondering what "me gusta" means. Technically, it means "I like" in Spanish, but the real meaning is anything that is awesome. I'm gonna try to take this blogging thing slow, maybe like 20 posts a day at first? I want to quote a comedic hero of mine "I'm always one step ahead, like a carpenter........that makes stairs."-Andy Bernard-I want to do the opposite of this, I want to be a step BEHIND, shocking right?

George Washington once said "Arbitrary power is most easily established on the ruins of liberty abused to licentiousness." I don't know what you got out of this quote, but I heard "There will someday be a man, 16, dashing, homeschooled, who will create the best blog ever." His words, not mine.

I'm currently in Chandler, Arizona visiting family. It's been pretty awesome so far. Yesterday, we went up to Flagstaff, for a snow day. I came here to get away from the snow, but it was fun. I don have anything else to say about that matter

I enjoy making people laugh, if you didn't laugh during this post, you may never read my blog again. So, here we go. Welcome to my mind world, there's no going back, please keep your arms and legs in the computer at all times.

Sincerely,

Your Gustafulness