Coffee or Liquid Dirt?

Hi ya'll, I'm Drew. Let's get to work

It's been a while since I've been on here. The comical juices just don't flow as well as they used to in my teens apparently, but possibly a little more refined? 

*Sidenote*
Does the word refined look like refried? Like, refried beans? Or at Chipotle, when they ask you what kind of beans would you like, I'm always like "Refined beans? Like, are they wearing bow-ties? Do they not put their elbows up on the table when they eat? Ha, who am I kidding, beans don't have elbows! They can eat and not have the burden of thinking about that! #jelly" 

*Side-sidenote*
Hashtags weren't as big last time I posted, which was almost a year to the date. At least I'm consistent  in that aspect

Alright, I thought I would pick a topic (off the top of the dome) and just go on a meaningless rant which, in the end, will waste both your time and mine. I guess you can call that a disclaimer, but if you're bored and like random bleep, this post is for you. 

I think we can talk about coffee.

Coffee man, what's up with that stuff?! I just don't understand. I mean, I drink coffee on occasion, but I feel like some people would roll around an IV just constantly being fed some french roast directly into their veins. Is it an addiction? No, but is it an addiction? Yeeeeesh, but is it a drug? Doubt it, but is it a drug? Most definitely. I was talking to this woman the other and she be like "Man, I just need a fix!" and I be like "Girrrrl, you already had 12 cups today!" and this is what be spittin' at me "Seriously, my cable is out and I need somebody to fix it." Didn't see that coming, did ja?

When I drink coffee, I always get the "Oh, want some coffee with that creamer?!" and then I go into a slight depression, drink the creamer, and have a crazy sugar buzz. That's how I like my coffee, k? Not everybody can have terrible taste-buds like the people who drink black coffee. Too far? Well, maybe if you didn't like to drink liquified dirt, I wouldn't have to pick on you. I like my dirt french vanilla flavored.

*Sidenote*
What the crap is the difference between french vanilla and regular vanilla? I mean, I get if you can't differentiate between two vanillas, but I've never gone to a coffee shop and had the option to choose between french vanilla and regular vanilla.

Yeah, idk man, coffee is taking over the world. I'm pretty sure Instagram wouldn't even be around if people didn't post pics of their coffee with meaningless lyrics/quotes/something that has nothing to do with the pic itself. Why do people have this inherent need to post pictures of their coffee? I get you like coffee, but you really think it's worth an Insta like? You think I just pass out "likes" like Russel Wilson throws interceptions in Super Bowl-winning drives? Ohhhhhhhhh (too soon?)

All in all, I'm really just jelly of the people who can drink coffee without a crap load of creamer and sugar. You da real MVP's. 

But seriously, liquid dirt. 

I think I can end it like that.

Stay sweet, fam.

-Gust

Candy Crushed

Hi. I'm Drew. Let's get to work.

Many apps have circulated the app store, from arcade games, to turning on lights, the app store is vast and endless. If you need directions, there's an app for that, if you don't know where to eat, there's an app for that, heck, I'm sure there's even an app for finding apps.

One of the the most prevalent apps out there is Candy Crush. The basic idea is to crush candy, beat levels, and waste your life, all at the same time!

First of all, what kind of monster wants to crush candy. Candy is incredible. WHAT DID CANDY EVER DO TO YOU?!?! Furthermore, if you crush all the candy, how do you expect to bribe little children to do your bidding? What's with all this "I need lives" crap that all crushers of happiness are always saying? It's like, yes, I get it, YOU NEED A LIFE, so stop crushing candy! What? You want to run dentists out of their practices? Shame on you. I've been around dentists and candy all my life and honestly they live in perfect harmony… Like Settlers and Slushies, it's a match made in heaven.

How many marriages have you ruined because someone's spouse is to busy crushing love to pay attention? Or how many kids have been neglected by their parents when all they needed was help with their homework? I personally find the whole game offensive. How could you be so insensitive about crushing candy? Candy has feelings too. I think the game should AT LEAST be rated M for mature audiences who don't have hearts and hate children because they want to crush all of the candy in the world.

On that note, I move that Candy Crap be boycotted. Instead download Flappy Bird! Same amount of addiction and it still makes you want to throw your device after you lose! So great. I mean, all you're doing is trying to keep the bird in the air without hitting green pipes. No levels, no gimmicks, no murdering of candy!


All in all, I'm not trying to judge the people who play Candy Suck but I do pray for your soul every night, before I drink my warm glass of (chocolate) milk, your life might be spared and I think you should repent of your destroying of candy… Also, you're a terrible human being and I hope your thumbs fall off and your phone breaks… And yes, you DO need a life... And next time you go to the dentist all your teeth have cavities and you need braces.

To my people who fight the good fight and have resisted to crush candy, stay strong, you're not alone! I'll leave you with this quote from one of the first Candy Savers.

"If you are a candy crusher, I will attack you with the north."

-Abraham Lincoln

Stay sweet everybody.

-Gust

Remakes

Hola, welcome to gusta. Let's go ahead and dive right in.

Remakes... sometimes remakes are awesome and needed and it's like, oh yeah, I forgot about this movie because the technology was terrible, but the idea was there. Then there's other remakes that are just like what the crap bro, it sucked the first time and changing some actors isn't gonna change anything. Then there's other ones that are just there even though they kinda were ok in the first place... News flash everybody.... THEY STILL SUCK! (voice crack)

I mean come on, "Man Of Steel"? Sure the name is crazy sweet, but I'm sure it's just the same old, oooooo cllarrrrkkkkk, you want to fit in but you can lift a bus and you just wanna be normal but with great power comes great responsibility and such. CLARK! YOU CAN LIFT A FLIPPING BUS! If anything, go start a business called "One Superman and a Cape" and drive "Two Men and a Truck" out of business... You would seriously make a killing, dawg.

What are they gonna remake next? "Ironman"? I mean it's about time right? They haven't came out with a movie for like a whole month and everybody knows that cash cow is far from dry. Or how bout a new "The Avengers"? And call it... "The People that Avenge" or... "A group striving for Avenge...ment"

People need to leave some stuff as is and just be content. Remaking movies will not satisfy! SLUSHIES WILL! And Jesus... but as far as earthly satisfaction... slushies... De de defintiely slushies. Will I go see "Man of Steel"? Idk, maybe I should just wait on "Kryponite: Alergies of a Super Human"

Anyway, that's all I got for now. Stay sweet bleeps. (blog peeps)

Sincerely,
Gust

Weather=Stupid

Hey peeps, welcome to the gust of me just gustin some me gustfully gust thoughts. Let's get to it.


I just wanted to say I have 1347 page views on 16 posts... That has to be some kind of record. That's 84.1875 views per post (yes, I know how to use a calculator) so, thanks of being a faithful bunch!


Weather... What the crap?! Is there a medicine for being bipolar? If so, I would go spend 8 years in med school just so I could prescribe it to weather. Don't get me wrong, I mean, I've been gustin on this warm weather... Who doesn't like 70 degree weather in March? People who don't have it all together up top if you're picking up what I'm putting down. Seriously, it's been like an 8 month pregnant woman with some serious mood swing issues.

 

When I wake up in the morning and I think "Man, I really want it to be sunny today..." 5 seconds later I look out the window and BAM... Cloudy and rainy and depressing. The next day when I don't even care, it's perfect! But that's just when you gotta say whatevs... Totes whatevs...



So, weather, get your act together or I'll do it for you. I'm pretty close with the big man upstairs and I probably could get him to pull some strings and get your name changed or just eliminate you permanently.


Just keep it gust weather, aight? No more funny business.


Stay sweet everybody


Sincerely,
Gust

Wheelin' and Gustin'

Sup, my me gustites. Thanks for checking out my blog today. Let's get to work.


I am one week off of my 2nd surgery and still very sore. I'm not writing this post to get you to feel bad for me (but if you want to feel free).  I'm writing this to say… MESS WITH WHEELCHAIRS!!!!  I'm currently in a wheel chair because they had to go back into my right foot when they were doing my left foot. I'll tell you something… it sucks! 


Right now, I am soooooo glad that whenever I got a chance to mess around in a wheelchair I took it.  Now to all you kids out there who get yelled out when you do this by your parents… don't listen to em' kids! Someday, you might need a surgery on both of your feet at the same time and your gonna be like "How in the HECK am I supposed to wheel around in this????" Fear not little lads, for I bring you gust tidings of great wisdom.

Don't bother with all that pop a wheelie stuff, for you will not be able to do that kind of  crap when both of your feet are crippled. 


Now, I totally agree with the Ten Commandment "Honor thy Father and Mother."  But in this instance, they don't know what they are talking about. LISTEN to your gust, obey your gust, and me gust your gust and you shall not falter.


I'll be wheelin' around for at least the next week so, if you ever need wheel chair advice… gust me. Stay sweet everybody.


Sincerely,
Gust


Songs Listened To:
Coldplay Album

Crutches and Things Like Flat Feet

Hola Muchachos. I maj preesh you for entering today. Let's get to work.

All yards in my neighborhood are the same length... that is awesome.

Summer was awesome.

Transferred my Rumor phone to a Seek.

Went to my first Buckeye game.

Beat uncle Bill, uncle Steve, and KG in ping pong.

Lance overdosed on Mountain Dew and 4oz of Coke-a-cola.

Oh yeah and Micheal Jackson? Yeah, he's dead. (maj respect)

Buckeyes beat Wisconsin.

Started senior year.

Orv is going crazy and is hilarious so nothing's changed there.

Lance bass? Yeah, he's gay.

I'm niche at Tetris on facebook.

Facebook changed their layouts twice and they both sucked worse than the ones before.

Layna got her permit.

Karson moved in.

My iPod touch is stupid.

Move to iPod shuffle, washed it, didn't have any rice so put it in a bag of noodles and still doesn't work

Moved to grandpa Dave's nano.

Bieberish hair.

Wore my first v-neck.

Going to Passion 2012.

Thanksgiving is coming up.

Halloween sucked again, but 2 dollar Chipotle helped with that.

Sullinger is back and dropped weight.

Playing well to quite well in Fantasy Football.

Summer baseball lost in the Championship

Fall baseball went 11-1 and won the league.

I work in the kitchen at Raising Cane's

And the main topic is obvi........ feet. 2 weeks ago I had surgery on my right foot because is was as flat as a pancake... not even a good pancake either. I'm now in a Biomet Boot and on crutches. My right calf is like jello with no muscle which is awkward. In 2 weeks I'm gettings urgery on my left foot and I get to go through all this crap again! WOOT WOOT!...... Thanksgiving week...... no me gusta..... hopefully be 100% by Passion.

Just a little update.

Gust it.

Sincerely,

Gust

Osama Bin Deaden

Hola chicos and chicas, welcome to gusta. Let's get down to it... I don't really get that expression... I guess it's stressing the metaphor, a conversation is like the ocean and at the bottom is the meaning. That's some deep crap.

It's not news to anybody (being my 4 followers who read this) that Osama Bin Laden is dead. Many people have their views on this. About 99% of the human population are glad, but what about the other 1%? I don't know, just saying. Thanks too Bin laden's death, the jokes are flowing like water from Niagara Falls. Wow, that made sense. So, thanks Bin Laden's death, people have brought many a joke to the forefronts and laughter... fun fact for you I guess.

The meaning of Osama Bin Ladens name is... well, I don't really know. Just off the top of the dome... Osama, if we break that down it's an O, Sam... So we got O, Sam... then we have Bin... like a bin of trash... that makes perfect sense... Lastly, Laden.. this one is a bit tricky... La, obvy, a music note.. and den, a place in your house (or laden could mean laid down but that's stretching it a bit.) So, there you go,+ his name came from a quote from a mother... it must've went like this "O, Sam! Take out the trash while we practice our musical notes i.e. "la's" in the den." There you go.

He probably didn't know Spanish, so he didn't know what me gusta meant. They probably didn't have speedways wherever he was from, probably didn't have many friends... or health benefits, and he will probably go down in history as America's biggest terrorist enemy person... and... he never met me and probably never read my blog. So, re -cap. A terrorist who didn't like anything, never had one of the best tastes in the world, never met the coolest person alive and read his blog, wasn't healthy, no teeth and he had no friends. Well, that sucks.

All in all, kudos America, you finally killed the guy who has caused the USA a HUGE amount of trouble. Only one thing comes to mind when I hear that... USA!USA!USA! Stay sweet everyone.

Sincerely,

Gust